Things I am Afraid to Tell You

Good things always come out of Pinterest.
Well, for the most part.
I was perusing the land of all things Pins and Interest the other week and found this gem by a blogger who also is getting tired of the blog rat race that is going on.The title of the post was Things I Am Afraid To Tell You and immediately I was intrigued.
Because don’t we all get freaked out about things that you would just die if anyone found out about?The point is this:

  • there are a lot of really annoying bloggers out there who are starting to irritate even the calmest and most amicable of bloggers. The professional quality pictures? The profile pictures that look like glamour shots? The homes that look like something out of a catalog? Enough.
  • the aforementioned bloggers need to start keeping it real. Let your hair down that is if that’s even your real hair.  Get to know your readers and let them inside.

So this is what it is.
I have things that I am afraid for you to know.
But today?
I am baring my soul.
I hope you still like me when this is over.

  • Lets start off really simple, shall we?  I always misspell afraid. I spell it afriad. Every time I type. I always spell check each post before it goes to publish but I thought you should know. Afriad.
  • I am a huge people pleaser to the exception of my happiness. I will say, “why yes, I can babysit your child while you run to the store” even if I have a million things to do and it is very much an inconvenience. I will curse myself every time I do something like this. But yet, I do it over and over. I say to myself, “just say no, Kari. It won’t make them like you less“, yet I keep doing it. Probably since childhood friendships started forming but it is what I consider a big character flaw on my end.
  • I hate getting sick but my biggest fear? Vomiting. I would walk in a dark alley in the city alone at night unarmed before I would go into someone’s home who has the stomach flu.
  • My family is in many different directions and that makes me sad. I am one of two kids in my family: my brother and I as well as my mom and dad and we all used to be tight. But life gets in the way and people move far away and bonds get weaker. I am still close to my mom, dad, brother and sister-in-law but it makes me sad to realize that we were all within five minutes of each other seven years ago and now I am lucky if I see my brother twice a year and my parents five times a year. I also feel like I haven’t moved on and they all have maybe because I still live here and have the reminders of them living here?
  • I have a hard time keeping really close friends with my friend Rebecca being the only exception. She and I have been friends for almost 20 years and not one fight. Reason? She is a saint. That and I feel like we are both givers. I sometimes tend to attract friends who are more takers and then I can’t do it anymore and slowly back away. I know people who collect friends and never let them go and I wish that were me. But I am a person who gives all of myself to a relationship and when I don’t get the same in return? I start to lose interest in that friendship. Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t have any friends. I have some great friends who I see here and there but I have gotten burned so many times, that I only have one really close friend and will only ever have one really close friend and she knows who she is.
  • Speaking of friends, I miss the “old gang”. They know who they are.
  • My daughter and I got lice from a movie theater and you will never catch me in a movie theater again as long as I live. I love me some movies but going forward it’s either On Demand, DVD or drive in theaters for me. If you have never had lice, you won’t understand this and judge me and that’s okay. If you have had lice, you will act like you have never had it but secretly you will be one with me and my decision. It’s one of the worst experiences in the world. I will however, let my children go to the movies. But I greet them at the door with the lice comb, nit spray and a thorough comb through. I wish I were lying.
  • My mother in law doesn’t speak to me. She also doesn’t really like me as is clear by the no speaking thing. In a nutshell, I used to be tight with her but then after she and my father in law pulled a no-show for their youngest grandchild’s baptism because my mother in law hates churches and to be quite honest, God in general, I couldn’t take it anymore and made it known I was not happy that they couldn’t just suck it up and be there for their grandchild. She stopped speaking to me that day. I tried to make amends months later by bringing over a coffee cake and proceeded to sit there for an excruciating two hours while she talked to every one in the room except me. In front of my oldest daughter who was old enough to see someone excluding her mom. I cried the entire way home.  I should say that my daughter’s still see them regularly; I just don’t go along for the visits. So as hard as it is to have absolutely no family except said mother in law and father in law in the Chicago area, I have to suck it up and realize that sometimes you just can’t make everybody happy. And that if you have great in-laws AND great parents AND you live near them,  you are very, very blessed.

So you either love me more now or can’t stand me more now but this is who I am.
My house isn’t always clean…OK that is a total lie, but I have been known to eat lick the bottom of an ice cream container to get the rest of the good stuff out and I might or might not have makeup in my bag that expired last year.
The point is that I think if you and I lived next door to each other, we would be friends.
And my friends know pretty much everything about me.
Well, maybe not until today.

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17 thoughts on “Things I am Afraid to Tell You

  1. Sara

    I used to be a HUGE people pleaser too…it just about killed me, because I am one of those people who attracts takers too. And people just kept taking until I couldn't bear it anymore. So I decided that now esp. since I am a mom, I can't be trying to please people anymore…it just is too much and too emotionally draining for me. So I quit pleasing mainly because it doesn't make people like me any more than they did before. And I am much happier. Yes, people get mad, but after they realize that you are still their friend even though you aren't doing everything their way, you get more realistic and true friends. And they eventually respect you for it.

  2. Bec@littlelucylu

    I still love you!!! 🙂
    I hear ya about "those bloggers", first of all … I think that's part of what burned me out on the ol' blog in the first place — just feel like I can't possibly keep/measure up! (not that I REALLY care, but it just gets to a person after awhile!)

    Just like Sara said, I'm a recovering people pleaser, too … once I had Lucy — forget it!
    And I'm such a happier person now!

    Oh .. .and if it makes you feel any better … I don't speak to my mother-in-law, either. Not exactly for the same reasons, but still … .I know how that feels, too! 🙂

    See? You're totally not alone!
    Hugs!
    Bec

  3. onefunnymotha

    I, myself, have no flaws, but if I had to relate to one of yours it would be the friend thing. I am the one that slowly backs out too. Like you I give a lot of myself and never seem to get the same in return (but part of it is my fault – I think I expect too much). And there's another thing. I find as I get older I just have different ways of seeing the world from some of my long-time friends and it gets harder to relate to them, you know?

    But I can't believe your MIL could be so petty. I mean u tried to make amends. She needs to get over it. But I know ppl like that too. And it's not you it's them.

  4. Jaime Lyn

    awhhh what a great post! I think this is exactly what I needed to read today. I am fizzling on my blog right now. Really I think there are a lot of our there that feel the same way. AND, I am a people pleaser too, I sometimes don't even know what I would want to do in a situation because I am so busy trying to figure out what everyone else wants! Hugs and I am glad I stumbled upon your blog!
    Jaime

  5. melissa Alder

    I hear ya. I too am a BIG people pleaser and attract those sort of people too. I am learning to say no more but it isn't easy. I admire your post and you more for having the guts to be real. More people should be that way. I am currently brainstorming a blog of my own and when I do get it started, I hope you will come visit me. As far as people not liking you and the way you do things, just be yourself and keep it real. You will attract a more long term friend by being real and being yourself than being something your not. Love your blog too. Please keep the wonderful posts coming. I enjoy reading them 🙂

  6. Lizzy

    I LOVE this post! I think it is so important to be real out there in blog-land. Reading certain blogs started to make me feel inadequate in my own life and I just couldn't have that anymore! My house isn't always clean. In fact, the clean clothes have been sitting folded on the dining room table for a week. And I'm okay with that!

    Very true and honest post, which makes you a fabulous blogger and a wonderful friend and person!!

  7. Renee Lumpkin

    You must be my long, lost twin! It's so nice to know that I am not the only one who cannot take vomiting! I would rather do just about anything than be around a sick person.

  8. Sue Diamond-Phillips

    I literally cannot put into words how much i LOVE this post and relate to it! I wiiiiish we lived closer and i could stalk you, proper like. You are awesome!

  9. Thrifty Crafty Girl

    I related to several of your confessions… except the head lice. But I have always had a fear of catching it at the movies, so I feel your pain. 🙂

  10. Teri Biebel

    So I'm snooping, I mean, checking out some of your older blogs and found this. I love you for standing your ground with your mother in law. What a petty and small person she is! And as I read about the head lice, I began scratching my head. I haven't stopped yet.

  11. Kathryn

    I don't normally follow blogs, but I stumbled across yours and just loved it. There are far too many blogs out there that make you feel like poo, because of the 'perfect' people with their 'perfect' lives who seem to think that they can preach their perfectness to the world and make it a better place! Thank you for being so real and so funny. You're like a breath of fresh air!!

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