Friends? With the One Who Saw Me Naked? Are You Kidding Me??? NaBloPoMo #6

Prompt- Do you stay friends with ex -boyfriends after the breakup?The title implies that I got naked in front of every boyfriend I ever had.
I didn’t.
I swear.
I was a good girl.
I swear.So this is an interesting question because I don’t remain friends with ex-boyfriends.
Well, I have one sort of ex-boyfriend who I still see once a year but we were all friends and it wasn’t ever serious so it’s all good.
But I do have to see an old boyfriend every week and it isn’t very comfortable.

I am divorced.
I don’t know if a lot of you know this.
My close readers, close friends and family obviously know this but I don’t spend a lot of time talking about it because I am kind of ashamed of it.
Yes, I know we don’t live in the dark ages but I don’t know a lot of people who are divorced, have been divorced or are planning to divorce.
When I meet someone who is divorced, I almost want to jump across the table and hug them.
Like we are part of this secret society.
Or a leper colony.

Anyway, my ex husband and I divorced after seven years of marriage in June 2003 after I initiated it.
I won’t go into details here because I don’t want to talk about him on this blog.
But I do have to see my ex every week for soccer games/events/ teacher conferences.
Because my oldest daughter is also his daughter so we have to coexist for her.
And it hasn’t always been easy.
It is a constant reminder of what I consider a failure on my part.
I have never had second thoughts about divorcing him but I do feel bad for my daughter.
I didn’t have to go through what she does at her age.
Going to her dad’s every other weekend.
Most times not wanting to go because her friends are here.
Her life is here.

I don’t regret marrying him because I have my beautiful, amazing daughter and I am so thankful for her every single day.
But having to see an ex-boyfriend every week for the past 11 years has been hard.
And having to see him for the next five years will be hard too.
But I made the choice and despite the stress it has caused on our family at times, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

NaBloPoMo Prompts

6 thoughts on “Friends? With the One Who Saw Me Naked? Are You Kidding Me??? NaBloPoMo #6

  1. i am mama lola

    i am not divorced, but i know friends who are separated and on their way to being divorced. i don't look at them, or you as a leper. i look at all divorced people as brave individuals; they tried something and probably gave their everything and it just didn't work. for whatever reason. marriage is hard.
    you're gonna have to forgive yourself.

  2. Shannon from Deepest Worth

    I don't know how you feel, because your circumstances are not mine. But I do know how it feels to feel judged by others because of the choices you made, even when you know those choices were right for you. I think we all know that feeling. So fear not, my friend. There will be no judgement coming from me.

  3. B. Wilson @ Windy {City} Wilsons

    From the land of lepers, I welcome you. While I'm not divorced, I do feel a bit isolated about losing my son…sort of like I'm contagious or something. Don't talk to the girl who had a still born baby because she will rub her bad luck on you. And don't dare ask her for advice. She's clearly a failure at this sort of thing.

    Nope. I feel that sometimes but know it is not true. Nor do I feel like my divorced friends should feel ashamed. Life takes us through many twists and sadly, they're not all great. And some are downright impossible.

  4. Catie @ Catie's Corner

    You are not alone! I was divorced at age 22. That was 13 years ago. My hubby is divorced and we raise his 14 year old daughter together with her mom. We all get along and her mom and I are actually friends now. I think you read and commented on my post about all that? If not, check out my about me page. It's all there!

    Anyway, half of my friends are divorced, so I have never felt like a leper. Ever! You shouldn't either! Being divorced doesn't mean you're a bad person or some sort of tramp. I "been" with two men in my life and I was married to both. Don't be soo hard on yourself Kari!! And if someone has issues with the fact that you are divorced, that's their problem! The end. Have an awesome Thursday! =)

    ~ Catie

  5. Marianne

    If I tell you I am actually a real leper, would you still wear the poo-shirt with me @ BlogHer?

    Damn. You wrote a truly beautiful and thought-provoking post and I went all inappropriate again. Sorry about that.

    I hate running into ex-boyfriends more than anything & I couldn't imagine having to do it on a weekly basis. You are certainly not a leper. You are my hero.

  6. Kari at A Grace Full Life

    Thanks all of you, you are so sweet and your comments touched me. I promise to only do serious posts once every couple of months. Or weeks. Or when I have my period.
    B- I never equated the two situations but you are so right. We have more in common than we realize.
    Catie, I had no idea! If you were here I would leap up and hug you!
    And Marianne, I loves ya. And YES!
    Totally wearing the poo shirt with you at Blogher.

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