Why Raygun Won’t Let Me “Pimp Them Out”

So I found this amaze balls company.
Well, I should say I found them via another blogger on Instagram.
And I hooked myself up with this stud muffin of a shirt:

 

Don’t be jealous of my threads.
Okay be a little jealous.
But you too can have a tee-shirt like this.
Even if you don’t blog, they have the coolest stuff.

They are Raygun.
Or as I like the call them, my store soul mate.

So here is the low down:

I got excited about the tee-shirt I purchased.
When it came, I squealed and loved how it came within three days of ordering and there was a handwritten note on my receipt.
Thanking me.
Thanking me!
I should have thanked them for all the jelly looks I will be getting when walking around Blogher this summer wearing this shirt.

So I emailed the company.
It was my first “pitch email”.
Ever.
Look at me using big words.
Like pitch.
And email.

I even sent them a media kit!
Look at me getting all technical on you!!!!
Media kit = info about my blog.
In a word document.
Which I am told is a big no-no.
So see?
I stuck to my typical standards just to keep it real.
Yeah.
Let’s stick with that story.
Or I didn’t know how to convert it into something else.

I told them in the email that I wanted to offer a giveaway to my lovely readers (that’s you!!! YOU were in a pitch email!!!!) to spread the good word about Raygun and their amazing products.
I told them that part of the giveaway rules could be that the readers (again, YOU!!) could like their Facebook and Twitter sites.

Then I get an email from Mike.
You know.
The CEO.

Did I say how much I love this company???

And here is what he said:

thanks for the e-mail, Kari!  what do you mean by “give away” on the blog?

we do happily send out samples of our stuff to bloggers, but we don’t actually ever give away our stuff (ourselves, etc) in any sort of large way. we do little give-aways for charities and things like that …
but just let me know the parameters of said giveaway!
So I sent him an email detailing my grand plan.
See above.
And he said:

roger, I’m picking up what you’re putting down … we’ll probably pass on the giveaway to readers part. we are pretty persnickety with that kind of stuff, and so never use the product to get people to follow our Facebook page, etc. 

however, we do send out our stuff to connectors like  you. so if you wanted some things from our site just for yourself, we’d be happy to mail some over. just let us know your address and what you’d like! there are no strings attached, so you don’t have to write about it or anything. 
let me know if you need anything else!

Gotta love a CEO that says “roger”.
Surely you are not calling me Roger.
Don’t call me Shirley..

Sorry.

So I said, I will love anything you send me.
And that they can’t stop me from “pimping them out at Blogher”.
Is it unprofessional to tell a CEO you will be “pimping them out”?
If it is, than I don’t want to be professional.

And four days later, this arrived in the mail:

 

Take your time and read. Take it all in. By the way, I am sending that beer/bacon cozy to my brother.

Take your time and read.
Take it all in.
By the way, I am sending that beer/bacon cozy to my brother.
Because it’s like they know who he is.
Creepy.

This is so how peeps who are NOT from the Midwest feel about the Midwest. Admit it.

 

This is so how peeps who are NOT from the Midwest feel about the Midwest.
Admit it.
If you are from Chicago, you should get it. Think about it. Wait for it, wait for it. Got it?

If you are from Chicago, you should get it.
Think about it.
Wait for it, wait for it.
Got it?

Raygun even sent rub on temporary tattoos for my girls!

 

They even sent rub on temporary tattoos for my girls!
And I got Suzanne's autograph!!

And I got Suzanne’s autograph!!
She is the “door greeter” over there.
Go to the Contact section of their website to “meet” her.

Just between you and me, I want to work there.
I would even sell all our belongings and move to Des Moines if I knew the weather would be better than Chicago.
It’s tropical there.
Right?
And I really want to meet Jess.
Because she has spirit fingers.
If that is anything like Jazz hands, we will be besties.
I can tell.

So here is the thing.
I would really, really appreciate if you go to their site and take a look-see.
Please?
For me?
Because this is the first company I ever sent a media kit to.
And they didn’t laugh at me.
Or my little blog.
And they get me.
They get you too.

Tell them Kari “jazz hands” sent you.

The above is my opinion.
Raygun did not pay me to write this nor did they send me the free goodies so I would write about it.
In fact, they probably wished to keep this on the down low.
They have NO idea who they are dealing with.
Quiet?
ME?
hahahahahahahahaha

25 thoughts on “Why Raygun Won’t Let Me “Pimp Them Out”

  1. Megryansmom

    Well now that you've paved the way for awesome and by awesome I really mean awkward, pitches I may contact them myself 😉 Love, Your MIL…who really wishes an F came after that title 😉

  2. lorihokie

    OMG I LOVE THIS COMPANY TOO!! And I SO love that Idaho is on the Midwest map to the east of Ohio!! that is hilarious!!

    I am so going to glom on to this gravy train and get some swag too!! I will totally credit you with spreading the word! 🙂

  3. pocketfulofjoules.com

    Well, you are obviously a great pimp because I never heard of the company before you instagrammed your snazzy shirt and now I want to hump them. In a totally professional, I'm a REAL BLOGGER (yeah, right) kind of way.

  4. Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0

    How non-Midwesterners think of the Midwest is actually far worse than that. We know which one is Idaho because of the potato logo, and Michigan is the hand… right? But other than that, it's snow, snow, fields, and Napoleon Dynamite. Sorry. Do YOU guys know New England?

  5. Bec

    I live 3 minutes away from the store and it takes all my will power to not buy all the shirts. Granted, I am from the Midwest so they're probably extra funny to me, but it is a great store. Although, I don't recall ever having seen a door greeter…

  6. Krystyna Lagowski

    You are TOO funny! I love your blog and your format. Now that's the way to capture an audience. Brave you sending all that info to the Raygun guys. You get a COOL-PLUS! As do they, for responding and sending you that fab swag. Will go over and check out the rest of their goods. You go gurrl!

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