NYC BABY!!! Part Deux. How NOT to Look Like a Tourist and Get Eaten Alive

Before we get started, head over here to check out how I remade a family classic for Thanksgiving!
Think green bean casserole only so much better for you.
Which means you can eat more.
It does.New York City is many things to many people.
To me, it is the largest city in our country.
It is also where Sesame Street is filmed and based.
The first show I can remember ever watching was Sesame Street.
I loved that show and my children have loved that show.
So growing up in a tiny rural town in central Ohio, when I thought of a big city, I immediately thought of NYC.
When I had the opportunity to visit NYC with my friend Jen, I was excited to finally see this big city in person.
Add in that Jen lived here for a year and I had the perfect tour guide for my first visit to the Big Apple.
So let me give you the nickel tour of my new favorite big city.

Garbage in NYC

 

This you need to know.
There will be garbage.
I had heard rumors that NYC has garbage on the street.
But you never see it on TV so in my narrow mind, that was a dirty lie.
It’s true.
Garbage.
On the streets.
Everywhere.
Jen told me that it is because they don’t have alleys.
I think it is to keep tourists away.
What they don’t know is its gonna take a lot more than garbage on the street to keep me away.
Columbus Circle STation Sign NYC

The first subway sign I saw, I got giddy!
See all those little circles and numbers?
I have no idea what they mean.
Subways are haaaarrrrd.

Columbus Circle fountain

 

Isn’t it pretty??
See those trees over there?
Central Park, y’all.
I got to walk in Central Park.
After dark.
You know what they say about Central Park after dark?
Yeah, that’s why there aren’t any pictures.
By the way, this area smelled very horsey.
Because of all the horses with their carriages.
LOTS of horses and carriages.
I grew up in a rural farming community and smelled less horses in the 18 years I lived there than I did in the 48 hours in NYC.
They don’t tell you that in the guide books.
Lights in NYC

 

This is totally what NYC looked like in my head.
But definitely not this:
Garbage was EVERYWHERE in NYC

It’s all good.
After awhile you just get used to it.
I swear I am not being sarcastic.
Its like this, there are so many cool things about NYC that you just overlook little things like this.
Now, if I saw a rat running around this pile, it would be a different story.

So Jen said we had to eat at Ray’s Pizza while in NYC.
I had never heard of it but definitely love me a good pizza, so was all in.

 

NYC style pizza

 

Ray's Pizza in NYC

 

It was so good.
I made a comment on Facebook that it was better than Chicago pizza.
And wrote the word “ducking” to show me ducking as not to get hit.
By the fierce Chicago pizza defender constituent.
But the spell check on my phone had another word in mind.
That rhymed with ducking.
That would have been an AMAZING adjective too, had I not checked it before hitting send.

So let me defend my response.

I like Chicago pizza, I do.
I don’t love it but I like it.
But the cheese on this pizza was so cheesy.
So creamy.
So good.
I didn’t care for the sausage, however.
No one does sausage like Chicago.
Sauuuusaaage.
Times Square in NYC

Times Square.
I said it was like the Wisconsin Dells of NYC.
If you don’t live in the Midwest or have never been to the Dells, you won’t get that comparison.
OK its the Branson of NYC.
Better?
Very touristy and it was cool to run through but it was cray cray.
It was almost too touristy.

Naked Cowboy in NYC

 

Naked cowboy.
Or the equivalent of Yakov Smirnoff at Branson.
This guy is HUGE here.
So is Yakov in the Ozarks.
Cool shop in Bryant Park NYC

We were in this awesome little shopping area called Winter Village in Bryant Park.
I got the coolest sign here at Brooklyn Made.

 

Cool item I got in NYC
Now I will always have a piece of New York.
My boots in NYC

I am standing.
In New York City.
Wow.

 

Bryant Park NYC

Bryant Park skating rink.
For the Real Housewives fans, this is the rink where Jill Zarin did her little “skating” show.
And I say “skating” because it was more like “walking across the ice with blades strapped to your feet”.

 

Cool little gift shop in NYC

I loved this little shop at Winter Village.
Pamela Barsky.
I got Annie a Christmas present here.
So I could say to her on Christmas Eve, ” I went all the way to NYC to get you this!”

Grace in NYC

Wherever I go, I find Grace.

Don't block the box NYC

Sir, it would serve you well in life to learn what the sign says.
DON’T BLOCK THE BOX.
Wait!
Is that Bruce Willis?!?!?!

 

30 Rock in NYC

Rockefeller.
Or as I like to say 30 Rock.
OK, I sound like a tourist.

 

Rockefeller Center in NYC

Skating at Rockefeller Plaza.
In my heart, I wanted to strap on skates and scoot around.
But Bethenny was the next day and I really didn’t want to go with a huge cast on.
Oh and this looks so much smaller in person than it does on the Today show.

Setting up the Today Show in NYC

Speaking of the Today show.
This is for my mama.
They were setting up for the next day’s show!
Today Show in NYC

I don’t watch the Today show (I am a GMA girl) so I don’t know what kind of shenanigans go on outside here.

 

Where SNL is filmed in NYC

When I see this sign, I think of SNL.
Formerly known as Saturday Night Live for us old people.

Friends Gift Shop in NYC

I am torn.
I really wish the NBC store was open when we walked by.
But at the same time, I would have spent my life savings in this store.
For the Friends display alone.
This. Store.

My boots in NYC

 

I AM IN NYC, PLAYA’S!!!!
Radio City Music Hall in NYC

Radio City Music Hall.
This one is for my mama as well.
The Rockettes Christmas show was starting the next day.

Jimmy Choo in NYC

Jimmy Choo.
Shoes.
Think. Shoes.

 

Cabs in NYC

OK this you need to know.
First, good luck getting a cab in NYC.
It took us at least 10 minutes to get one each time we tried.
I should say when Jen tried.
I was a little afraid of hailing a cab in NYC.
I have done it in Chicago but this is NYC, people.

Second, don’t let the cabby’s think you are a tourist.
Just don’t let them smell the fresh blood in the water.
When getting into a cab, do not, I repeat, DO NOT do the following:

– hold a map
– be looking at a map
– ask for a map
– ask where you can get a map
– ask where you can get a cheap I Heart NY tee shirt
– ask where they shot 30 Rock
– ask how to read a Subway sign (the transportation mode not the sandwich shop)

Because if you do any of the above, you will get…what I like to call….the “scenic tour extravaganza” of NYC.
Which in layman’s terms = you will dip into your college fund to get your butt outta that cab.

One of my fave all time movies is Serendipity.
So one of my gotta see it spots while we were in NYC, was the restaurant namesake of the movie.

Serendipity in NYC

Those who know this movie will know that this shop was used as a bridal shop in the movie!

 

Serendipity in NYC

 

Its got an A sanitation rating!
Time to eat!

Serendipity in NYCIt is magical in here.
Must be because of the whole John Cusack contingent.
Orrrr the frozen hot chocolate.

 

Frozen Hot Chocolate in NYC

Oh my sweet Betsy Ross, this was amazing.
Amazing isn’t even the correct adjective.
I actually went to an online thesaurus looking for words that fit.
Appetizing?
Piquant?
Nectarous?
Titillating?
Yessss, lets use titillating!
Because we can……

 

Serendipity in NYC

ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS.
The amount I would pay to eat John Cusack’s leftovers.

 

Subway sign in NYC

Subway.
Never gets old.
If you look closely, there is some soft porn playing in front of that store.

Deli sandwich in NYC

The worst deli sammich I have ever eaten.
How do you mess up ham and cheese?

NYC Subway

SUBWAY!!!!
Sorry.
I was so excited to be riding the subway!!!
I even texted a picture of the inside of a subway car to my mom and hubs.
I know what you are thinking.
Subway nerd.
Totally.

 

Best Drink Ever in NYC

OK so the above drink did me in.
And I am not ashamed to say it.
Jen and I decided to be “spontaneous” and go to Morton’s in the Financial District.
At 3:30.
On a Thursday afternoon.
We split a “jumbo” crab cake (by the way, “jumbo” refers to its price tag, not its actual size), a bowl of sour cream mashed potatoes and we each got a cocktail.
Which must have been made with ALL OF THE ALCOHOL IN NYC.
It was fun, it felt like we were doing something crazy and my wallet felt a little lighter.
But then I was buzzed.
MAJORLY buzzed.

I rode the subway.
BUZZED.
I walked the streets of NYC.
BUZZED.
Then came back to the hotel and passed out for 45 minutes.
Do I know how to partay or what?!?!

THE bra in NYC

After my nap, we wandered out to the streets of NYC.
And this is where you will see a full circle moment.
See that bra above?
It’s kind of famous….

 

Kari, Ree Drummond and the bra.

 

Yes, I wore the bra to NYC.
But after a day of TV show canoodling, walking the streets of NYC drunk and allllll that crab cake, I needed to ditch the bra.
Yes friends, my last night in NYC, I walked the streets of Manhattan BRA-LESS.
“I am out there Jerry and I am lovin’ it!”

 

Jen's Toe NYC

Meet Jen’s 6th toe.
Know this: you will walk A LOT in NYC.
And you don’t even realize how much you are walking until you get back to your hotel, take off your boots/shoes and meet your sixth toe.

 

Bacon and Egg on a roll in NYC

Bacon and Egg on a roll.
This is how NYC does breakfast.
I shoulda got the donut……
To be fair, I was still burping up my drink that consisted of all of the alcohol in the land that morning, so nothing really sounded that appetizing.

 

Corner Deli in NYC

These corner deli/bakeries were EVERYWHERE in the city.

 

Corner newspaper stand in NYC

I took this on our last morning before we left for the airport.
I felt like it was just so New York.
I kind of didn’t want to leave.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my big city (Chicago) but there is nothing like the original big city.
The vibe is so cool, I totally see why so many people love living here.
And one other thing…the people are friendly.
The East Coast gets such a bad rap when it comes to this but everyone I ran into was so friendly, helpful and accommodating.

So that was my first (and definitely not last) trip to the Big Apple.
I hope you enjoyed it and maybe next time you all can come with!
Wouldn’t that be fun??
Bra-less, drunk and holding a map.
Tackling NYC like a BOSS.

9 thoughts on “NYC BABY!!! Part Deux. How NOT to Look Like a Tourist and Get Eaten Alive

  1. Just Jen

    Dying with Laughter! So glad that I got to go with you on your first of (hopefully) many braless, drunk adventures through NYC. Wait, that doesn't sound so good . . . . . LOL! Love you bestie!

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