When the mom takes the daughter to ballet class in her luxury SUV with the nanny in tow (off camera, of course).
The mom acts like she knows how to put the ballet outfit on her daughter.
Then the little girl has a meltdown because the mom says, “now, honey we always eat non-GMO granola green bean smoothies after yoga on the way home from ballet” because they never eat non-GMO granola green bean smoothies after yoga on the way home from ballet because the nanny totally takes her to In and Out for a big juicy burger while the mom is at spin class?
I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.
Then I eat another handful of Doritos and get back to the laundry at 10 at night because my nanny* is in the shop.
My kids use the television for a lot of things: as a release from a long school day, to drown out the miserableness of life or to drown out their mom at times.
But mostly there is no reality check in television; unless you are watching the five o’clock news.
But thankfully Netflix doesn’t air news which is why we mostly only watch our Netflix most of the time because who needs to see all of the miserableness of life every single day?
No, I did laugh because we are at the end of the school year here.
I liken it to being at the end of your prison term.
The prisoners are getting restless and feisty.
Fisticuffs are happening on a daily basis.
Once my 16 year old got out of school, the pressure came down 50% but the 8 year old still has two weeks left of her sentence so it’s still a little tense around here.
The pacing, the moaning, the taunting and the clanging of metal cups on the bars is almost too much for us to bear.
And that’s just us parents.
We haven’t nailed this down yet.
When you have this figured out, come talk to me.
It happens in every family and I figure that they will either love each other when they get old or they just won’t.
But we’ll be dead, so we will be more concerned with other things at that point.
But watch this if you need it to be your life mission:
This is a big one around here but again, end of the school year and we are slacking.
My teenager is learning a huge lesson with this one.
We are all about leaving certain responsibilities up to her and learning the hard way.
I have started to let go of the reigns as of late because in two short years she will be in college and she needs to learn how to do things for herself.
Beyond making ramen and turning on the television to watch One Tree Hill.
Be a better parent and start them young here:
VeggieTales In the House: Puppies and Guppies/ Sorry We’re Closed Today
Following the Rules
Don’t touch the electrical sockets! Say please and thank you! Don’t lick the dog!
Following the rules is something we learn from the beginning but it is hard, man.
Even as an adult, I have trouble being a rule follower.
I mean really, there is no way I am doing 35 on a country road when no one is around.
ESPECIALLY when Let’s Go Crazy by Prince comes on the radio.
But you do you, uptight citizens brigade.
If you are doing 35 in a 35 and intend to raise kids who will never ever speed no matter what and plan on telling the cops where I live, please don’t read my blog anymore.
Then go watch Puffin Rock: Stormy Weather/Baba’s Adventure/Rock Music.
I am proud to say that as of right now, both of my girls do love themselves.
My oldest almost too much at times, which for a 16 year old is pretty damn awesome.
I know that can change at any time but for now, I am really content with the fact that they are loving themselves the way they are.
Considering the fact that I don’t always love myself the way I am, I am very glad they turned out this way.
If you haven’t evolved like my girls, maybe its time for us to watch The Adventures of Puss In Boots: Star.
I have girls who are in sports so teamwork has been best learned on the field.
My youngest daughter is just learning teamwork the hard way this year.
In the game of soccer, it is mostly about passing.
Constantly passing the ball back and forth to your teammates.
And this year they were starting to learn to pass instead of holding on to the glory of scoring that goal for themselves.
It was also about staying at practice on a Thursday night when you are tired after school and just want to go home and watch Lab Rats.
Teamwork; your team is depending on you.
It is a hard lesson to learn especially when you have Netflix at home waiting for you.
Way. To. Be. Netflix.
Teach your kids about teamwork, AFTER practice by watching Project Mc2: Smart Is The New Cool.
|They aren’t “peer pressuring” each other. That is Anna and her best friend just being them. I don’t have a picture of peer pressure. Thank God.|
My 16 year old daughter makes me laugh a lot.
Especially when she uses the word peer pressure as an adjective.
“Bootsy (not her real name) was totally peer pressured to throw a party at her house last weekend”.
“They went to the city alone for the night. They were peer pressured, mom. Hard times, hard times.”
She is me. Only wittier because 2016 Kari/Anna needs to step up her game, DUH.
It IS hard times, people WAKE UP AND SMELL THE SMART PHONES.
Kids are under way more pressure than ever before because there is much more crap for them to be open to than we were in the 80’s/90’s.
I don’t know about you 2000’s kids.
You were probably exposed to some weird crap too.
So you need to talk to them earlier about everything, be an open book of information, an open door of communication.
Essentially you need to be wide open.
So turn on Netflix and watch this episode of Fuller House, The Legend of El Explosivo.
But don’t turn on Netflix all of the time because you need to keep your eyes WIDE OPEN AT ALL TIMES if you get where I am comin’ from.
Oh social media.
The media that makes you anti-social in real life.
I said to my 16 year old daughter last week, “when you and your friends have sleepovers, do you even talk to each other? Or do you just sit on your phones next to each other and Snapchat other people?”
She of course came back with a witty retort but she did say a little later on that it was quite sad that in a room with her best friend that she really wasn’t having quality alone time.
That they would sit right next to each other and text, Twitter, Snapchat and email other people.
It is a sad society that our teenagers live in, this not being present with one another.
They are more present with one another when they aren’t together.
Wow, am I a poster child for social media or WHAT??
Maybe have your teens watch Girl Meets World: Girl Meets Boy, they can probably handle it better than I apparently can’t.
|With her trophy at the end of her first entire soccer season|
When my youngest daughter was in kindergarten, I thought it would be a great idea to enroll her in soccer.
We enrolled her before school began, unaware of how she would eventually struggle with the first two weeks of the school year, the changes that brought and the unknown to us at the time ADHD diagnosis.
In a nutshell, soccer didn’t go well but she made it through the fall season.
Over that winter she told us she didn’t want to do it again that spring when it would continue on with her team the following April.
We didn’t push her even though some would say to do so; she was just diagnosed and it just felt like she had been through enough that year.
When during the summer of second grade she came to us and said she wanted to try soccer again, we were apprehensive.
But she seemed determined to give it another go, so we signed her up and her dad even signed up to be the coach.
We were all in but told her that this time around she had to do both seasons and no going back like last time.
She had difficult moments this year, but she had amazing ones as well.
Scoring several goals, learning how to do throw ins, passing, patting her teammates on the back when they did a great job, being a good sport, learning about being a part of something that isn’t just about you.
Something we deal with every day, every week, every month, every year.
On the field and off of the field as well.
Yes, we know a lot about self-improvement in our home.
A hell of a lot.
So thank you Netflix. but I think we got this one.
- The Bench
- In Ten Years