The Bane of My Existence

I think it is no secret to anyone here that I like to clean.

Scratch that.
I like my home to be clean.
I used to like to clean.
In fact, it would be a form of stress relief for me.
Yes, people like me exist. 

But as I age and my children age, I realize that it is no longer a form of stress relief.
This is the biggest misconception known to man: as children age, the messes grow fewer and fewer.
And that would be a big old nope.
Older children are messier than little children and this is why: older children don’t take four hour naps.
 
I have an eight year old and a 16 year old daughter and I will stop you right there because I know what you are thinking.
“Ohh girls are tidy” “ohh girls don’t track mud in the house” “ohh teenagers are so much easier than toddlers”. 
Stop yourselves.
If you have small children right now, I am here to warn you: it doesn’t get easier.
And the people who say it does are lying to you. LYING, I SAY.
 
This summer has proved to me that as much as I love a clean home, I love sitting on the couch watching Beverly Hills 90210 reruns better.
Because when my free time hits every night, I am not in the mood to clean the damn house.
I was when I had four hours in the middle of the day because naps.
But not at night.
Especially when there is wine.
And the aforementioned 90210.
Brandon waits for no one. 

 

This summer also brought us the arrival of our loyal friend, Buddy.

The most photogenic dog I have ever met.
He likes to help put away the dishes.

And he does a mean Gladys Kravitz imitation.

I have talked a lot about my floors on this blog.
Probably more than I have my children, sadly.
Because they are not the bane of my existence….when they are….
No, it is my floors.
Five blog posts in fact are centered around my floors.My floors are constantly dirty and I am not a dirty person.
I don’t honestly know, on most days, how to keep up with them.
So I just shrug my shoulders and say, “oh well, my kids won’t care what the floors looked like when they grow up” and head back to 90210.
Damn you, Dylan and Brenda.

I had all but given up cleaning my floors when I got an email from the people over at O Cedar.

*”Do you want a mop that is life changing?”
“Can it clean the floor while I watch Kelly screw her best friend over?”
“Umm no. And who is Kelly?” 
“Okay, send it over any way. Gotta run. Cindy is making a french casserole!”

* or it was a conversation in my head

But the fine people working for O Cedar, after me telling them how I do product review posts (unprofessional and with 90210 quotes thrown in),  STILL wanted to send me a mop.

Ohhhkay but I warned you.

 

It was three days after we adopted our puppy, that the mop was on our doorstep.

 

 

At first, I thought it looked way too confusing for me to figure out.
Especially with two children making messes, a new puppy and 90210 on the DVR just taunting me.
Then I looked down at my filthy floors and thought, it has to be better than the time when Brenda had to work for the lady who was stealing her commission.

 

We got it, Brenda.

Yes that is a watermelon on my table.
I don’t have professional picture stagers.
Or whatever.

It took me literally two minutes to put the mop together.
So that means more time to mop…..yay? 
I mean YAY!

 

Fill the water and your cleaning solution of choice into the bucket using the fill line guide.
Easy enough for Brenda to do when the maid has strep.

Working on teaching him how to mop in addition to sitting and staying.

 

So the reason this mop is “easy wring” is because there is a pedal on the bucket that wrings out your mop as you pedal!

 

Yes, Jim and Cindy!
Think of it as the world’s grossest salad spinner.
You would not believe how much water you aren’t getting out of your usual mop when you do it the old fashioned way.

 

Buddy is totally fascinated with the salad mop spinner.
And when I throw out my water, it is dirty.
I mean DIRTY.
Which means it is really picking up all the crap on my floors.
That or it’s been a hella long time since I did the floors.

Now is the part of the show when I tell you that O Cedar is pulling an Andrea Zuckerman and giving you a mop of your own!!

 

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Congratulations to the winner, Teri Biebel!! 

I know you want to mop, Brenda.
Give it a try.

Such a whiner.

Thank you to O Cedar for sending me a mop to try out and pimp on my blog.
Thank you also to the cast of Beverly Hills 90210 for being there for me when I am slacking on my household duties.




 

31 thoughts on “The Bane of My Existence

  1. Alison Marie

    I hate to say it, but Kelly is my fave from what I remember.

    And floors are the bane of my existence! I know my robot vac sanitizes them daily,but they still need to be mopped and it takes FOR-EVER.

  2. Alexandra S

    Moping the floors is always one of my least favorite cleaning activities. I mean, I have to actually get the crap off the floor before vacuuming and then moping?! lol But I think there is something about the city air that makes my floors here way dirtier.

  3. Andrea Mowery

    My favorite is Kelly.

    And I hate cleaning everything, but like you, I love having a clean house.

    And my maid ALWAYS has strep.

    Stupid maid.

  4. Rustown Mom

    I think that show was a biggie when I was otherwise having babies and was too tired to turn on the TV at night. During the day it was Barney. Sue me. My floors are almost never really clean. They are "wiped" occasionally. So I may need a mop. And please include a maid.

  5. KandisInMi

    Sad to say that I completely missed out on the whole series! But, I've always liked Tiffany Amber Thiessen, and I watch her cooking/entertaining show! Floors, naturally, are the bane of my existence, especially the bathroom ones! I'd absolutely LOVE to see this bad boy in action, even if it meant that I was the one weilding it! I'd love some cookies and booze, too! Much more fun mopping with a little rum buzz!

  6. Rita Ramstad

    True confession: I never watched 90210. I was a beginning teacher. I didn't watch much of any TV in the late 80s/early 90s. Except Northern Exposure. And Seinfeld. And then I passed out asleep.

    Bane of my cleaning existence: Bathrooms. Which that mop wouldn't help with much. But we do have miles of cork floor because our wiener dogs can't stop peeing in the house. They are not as photogenic or charming as Buddy. But, like teen-age girls, they create more dirt than you'd think they would. 🙂

  7. Jessie

    NICE COMMENT ALERT: I like my cookies chocolate and my booze virgin because the chocolate alone is enough of a high for this girl. 🙂

    Hmmm. I think I liked Brenda and Brandon the most. I LOVED that show and watched it faithfully when it first aired. And pity the fool that dared to talk before commercial break.

    P.S. For some strange reason I COULD NOT comment from my phone. So I pulled up my computer and I recently cleaned up my google accounts (I had so many random) and made a new name which is weird, but it's me!!! JESSIE (back from my short lived blogging days at stillplayinghouse)

    I NEED a good mop. I waste so much money on mops and have yet to find the ONE. Fingers crossed here.

  8. Jessie

    NICE COMMENT ALERT: I like my cookies chocolate and my booze virgin because the chocolate alone is enough of a high for this girl. 🙂

    Hmmm. I think I liked Brenda and Brandon the most. I LOVED that show and watched it faithfully when it first aired. And pity the fool that dared to talk before commercial break.

    P.S. For some strange reason I COULD NOT comment from my phone. So I pulled up my computer and I recently cleaned up my google accounts (I had so many random) and made a new name which is weird, but it's me!!! JESSIE (back from my short lived blogging days at stillplayinghouse)

  9. Kate

    Okay, I never watched 90210, but this blog makes me want to. Or maybe it just makes me want to download all your brilliant memes. Thanks for such a good laugh first thing in the morning.

  10. Andrea

    Oh yes! The messes do get worse because suddenly these kids have voices and opinions about what is actually not garbage…as well as memories regarding said items existing to begin with!

    I need a new mop so badly,
    And am now so sadly
    That I missed this post
    When it mattered the most

    (I had no intention of wielding my mad poetry skills here but badly and sadly took over and I had to keep going)
    Andrea recently posted…Makes no mistakeMy Profile

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