You can work with them for YEARS on habits like brushing their teeth more than once a week, saying excuse me after belching at the Red Robin, chewing and digesting food before singing the Star Spangled Banner at the dinner table.
But do any of those things sink in?
Hell to the no.
Do you want to know what sticks?
Random information that decides to rear its ugly head in public situations.
Over the past year, our nine-year-old daughter Ella has gleaned so much useless information in a way that only streaming entertainment can offer and Netflix is her outlet of choice as it pertains to information leaked from the outside world.
When it isn’t lunch or recess.
You do NOT want to know what they know and what they are talking about. Trust me.
For example, here are some morsels from Fuller House alone:
Apparently, Kimmy Gibler had one at her high school reunion or before it or whatever.
All I know, is that she had one and want to know how I know?
My nine-year-old told me.
Wanna know where I learned about it?
At the Target on a Saturday afternoon in the dollar section.
A very busy Saturday afternoon.
“MOM, WHAT IS A URNIRARY TRACK INFECTION?”
To be clear, she wasn’t yelling when she asked it.
It just seemed like she was.
In the “Girl Talk” episode of Fuller House, Season 2, DJ, Kimmy, and Stephanie reunite with their friend Gia to, in the immortal words of the Blues Brothers Jake Blues, “put the band back together”.
Any guesses about what song they sang?
Over and over and over?
All I hear when this song is playing over and over and over is my drunk butt slurring the words at the top of my lungs with my friends at the local dance club in 1993.
I love re-living that over and over and over on the way to and from school each day.
Thank you for that “Girl Talk”.
She knows what a vape pen is.
My husband doesn’t even know what a vape pen is.
SPELL CHECK DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT A VAPE PEN IS.
Anyone know the name of a good therapist?
I am very happy that my youngest knows a lot of cultural references from movies that were popular when I was a teenager.
I am not very happy that she now constantly asks me to do “the lift” with her.
I love Macy Gray so much and now Ella does too.
But who knew that Macy Gray would give the biggest laugh of the season?
And create a quote that my nine-year-old loves to re-create.
Word for word.
“There’s also a 78 Cadillac Seville with its lights on in the parking lot. Is it pink? Oh damn, that’s mine.”