Childhood,  Humor,  Life

Beer Breath, Cat “Smell” and Big Hair; Why You Will Never Look at Me the Same Way Again

Before I get to the good stuff, check out my latest DIY project if you haven’t gotten to the blog lately.
I am in love with my new green front door!!
And the neighbors tell me it makes them happy when they look at it.
I am all about serving the people, folks.
So this weekend, THIS WEEKEND!!!
First off, I won something.
Yes.
I know those who are following me on Facebook and Twitter are sick to death of hearing this but just give me one more shout out, okay?
I WON A MINI IPAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is a funny story behind this and I will tell it.
Tomorrow.
Because I am still in recovery from my AWESOME blogger Sunday.
But for today, enjoy some random pieces of knowledge about me.

 

– When I am alone in the house (which is RARE), I turn my iPod on full volume and dance. Like DANCE.

– I clean my bathrooms on Thursdays. I don’t know why I picked this day but if this is your day too, I wave my toilet brush in your general direction.

– Speaking of Monty Python, I love The Holy Grail movie, thanks to my brother.

– I have never seen the movie The Princess Bride.

– I don’t drink coffee but I love the smell of it.

-The smell of beer on my husband’s breath makes me giddy. You know, GIDDY. Wink, wink.

– I have never rollerbladed in my life but I can school you on roller skates. Especially when We Will Rock You by Queen comes on.

– I can smell cats in a house as soon as I walk in. Even if you NEVER had a cat but maybe the previous owner did? Yeah. I got their number. Realtors should hire me. I am like a savant when it comes to uncovering cat smell.

– I have big feet. Size 9.5- 10 big. You know what they say about women with big feet? They wear big shoes.

– Aspartame gives me headaches. And for that reason, I rarely chew gum.

– My name could have been Amy. If I were a boy, I would have been named Jonathan.

– My brother’s girl name was Christy. My brother married a girl named Kristy.

– I love the smell of road tar.

– I marched in the Citrus Bowl parade with our high school marching band in 1987.

– I like to eat salt on my apples and watermelon.

– I also love ketchup on my cottage cheese and my youngest won’t eat cottage cheese without it.

– My first car was a Chevette. Well, it was my parents car but the car I drove all through high school.

– My brother totaled that car two months after getting his license.

– I hate thunderstorms. So do both my girls.

– I have an irrational fear of tornadoes.

– I had to get stitches the day of my mom’s 50th birthday while getting ready for the surprise party I was planning. I was cutting a watermelon and sliced open my finger. No one was home, so I drove myself to the ER.

– I am recently addicted to Candy Crush on my phone……and can’t get past level 30.

– I took three years of French in high school and can only remember four or five words. Je m’apelle Kari.

– I had a chance to go to Quebec my freshman year in high school but turned it down because I didn’t want to be away from my family.

– My entire family now lives within 8-11 hours away from me as I write this.

–  I won a blue ribbon at the county fair for cooking when I was 12 and in 4-H.

– I don’t know how to swim.

– I was afraid I would die of Toxic Shock Syndrome all through high school.

-And also of Scoliosis thanks to the book Deenie.

– While all my friends ran out and got their drivers licenses the day they turned 16, I didn’t go get mine until six months after I turned 16 because I was scared to death to drive.

– When I was in high school, everyone called me “Jenny” because I reminded them of Jennifer on Family Ties.

– My oldest daughter looked just like Dakota Fanning when she was little. So much that random people on the street would stop us and ask us if it was her.

– My senior year soundtrack was Def Leppard’s Hysteria. On tape, of course.

– I am peed off that I can’t buy any Def Leppard’s Hysteria on iTunes.

– When I write a blog post, I can’t have any noise, no music, nothing at all.

– Therefore, I blog when I am alone or when the kids are asleep.

– I was told by my English teacher in high school that I would make a great writer someday. That same teacher gave me a C in her class.

– I was a cigarette smoker for 13 years when I quit before I got pregnant with my oldest. Then started again for five more years before quitting for good in 2007 before I got pregnant with my youngest. I am 6.5 years “sober” and will never touch one again.

– Favorite high school class? Speech. Favorite college class? Microbiology.

– I have a blanket I sleep with every single night that I call my “wooby” and I can’t sleep without it. My hubs even brought it to me at the hospital after I gave birth to my youngest.

– The night before I left the hospital after giving birth to Ellie, I had four maternity nurses in my room hanging out and talking all evening.

– I almost became a nurse. I got into the program and then turned it down. Biggest career regret of my life.

– I am freakishly strong but my 13-year-old daughter is too. She can carry me piggyback and I am not light.

-My love for senior citizens has rubbed off on my kids. So much so that when my youngest sees a “gramma” or “grampa” in the store, she says “I wish we could take them home with us!!” Yes, I know that would be illegal.

– I secretly miss big honkin’ 80s  hair…….

 

 

……..which I kept on rockin’ until 1992.

 

OK off to rock out to some Def Leppard and watch The Holy Grail with some senior citizens.
Wanna smoke??
Just kidding.

 

I love to write about my family, John Hughes, tacos and Bruce Hornsby. Not necessarily in that order.

6 Comments

  • Just Jen

    I, too, am I roller skating diva!

    I saw Def Leppard in concert during the Hysteria tour and have pictures of Joe Elliot in his ripped pants.

    After reading this list we ARE sisters from anotha mutha!!

    xoxo

    • Kari at A Grace Full Life

      Omg is there a concert you havent been to??You are my taller, more photogenic, fearless sistah. And I know my mom will adopt you. 🙂

  • Melanie

    You make me laugh, Kari! I love your blog posts. I know I commented on FB about you winning the iPad Mini, but I'll say it again – woo-hoo! That is so awesome. I don't know if you had any kind of tablet beforehand…I don't, so I'd be thrilled to death. Heck, I don't even have a smart phone! (A little behind the times.) I do have an iPod (whaddya know) and like you, I turn it on and DANCE my tushy off when no one is home. I pull the blinds so my neighbors don't see me and think I'm having an epileptic fit or something. 😉

    Gum…there's lots w/o aspartame now; most of them have xylitol instead.

    I loved Def Leppard when I was in high school (a looong time ago). Met them in person at a record store and got their autographs and I'll be darned if I remember what I ever did with it. Probably threw it away as I got older. Had an autographed poster of Ozzy too. 🙂

    • Kari at A Grace Full Life

      Omg this is awesome Melanie!! We need to get together for lunch soon since we arent too far from each other, sound like a plan?

  • Marianne

    Once again…WHY didn't you live next door to me growing up????? Think of the fun!

    But I always had flat hair. My sister used to put water in my hairspray bottle.

    Totally not bitter or anything…

    • Kari at A Grace Full Life

      Omg that is awesome. We would have had so much fun!!! We will make up for it at Blogher. 😉

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