Blogging,  Favorite Things,  Humor,  Life

“Five Random Things About Me”. Also Known as Just “Things About Me”.

Because hello, I am the most random person I know.
Except for the guy at the gas station down the street, he seems a little sketchy too.
When “Elizabeth” tagged me in this cool little, let’s call it a BLOG EXPERIMENT……MUAH AH AHHHHHHHHHHH……that was my best Vincent Price impression, by the way…….I was excited because we ALL know I love to participate.
In these types of things.
In 5k’s that give food as swag.
In recipe chain emails.
And I didn’t get one damn recipe.
Yes, I see the karma. But I also felt a little like if you read one more post about ME, that I might lose a few of you.“I know, I know, you love Bruce Hornsby, McDonald’s and Islands in the Stream sends you into a tailspin…..WHEN ARE YOU GIVING FREE CRAP AWAY ALREADY. “

By the way, my inner blog reader critic speaks Joe Pesci.
But you look like Cindy Crawford.
Wink wink.
Suck up.

So without further adieu, one of THOSE posts.

 

1- Papier de Toilet

I am freaked out by crafts made of toilet paper rolls.
When the art teacher asks for our leftover butt paper rolls, I am kind of offended in the weirdest way. “Like, you know where those have been. Right??”

2- Get off my butt

If you tailgate me?
I will drive slower.
On purpose.
EVERY CRAPPIN TIME.
By the way, I don’t drive slow.
I am a lead foot so if you are tailin’ ME?
You didn’t plan your time correctly.
Or you have diarrhea.

 

3- Do you have a minute to talk to me? I am from Inside Edition.

I hate, HATE those shows that have the journalist
confronting the business owner who frauded his employees, or the massage
place that sells crack in the backroom.
Why?
I hate confrontation.
I literally hide my face with a pillow while it is on.
It makes me nervous, sweaty and very uncomfortable.
Except for those sex offender shows.
Then I am all BOOK THOSE SCUM SUCKERS.

 

4- You can call me Lizzz. With three Z’s. Because Z.

I wanted to change MY name to Elizabeth in kindergarten too!
Just like the person who tagged me in this post.
I have this very blurry memory of sitting in a car with my mom in the Dairy Queen parking lot in Barrington, Illinois in 1975 telling her that I wanted to change my name to Elizabeth and I had a good reason.
Because there was a Z in it.

 

5- CRICKETS

I couldn’t think of another random thing.
See this post it is full of random information about me.
Unless you could care less.
Then carry on with your bad self.

Thanks again to “Liz” for tagging me in this!
Off to find another food swag 5k.

I am tagging some of my amazing friends.
Go visit their blogs today and tell them that Random “Elizabeth” sent you.

Keith – A Strong Man’s Cup of Tea

Andrea- Maybe It’s Just Me

Rebecca- Being Rebecca Lee

Vikki- Where it All Began

Connie- I Suck As A Parent

 

I love to write about my family, John Hughes, tacos and Bruce Hornsby. Not necessarily in that order.

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