What I Wish People Would Write on Facebook

I would like to credit my friend and fellow writer, Alison Lee for this idea, this brilliant idea.
She wrote this post back in October about random thoughts and ideas that don’t make it onto Facebook.So I commented:

 

I have a way with words….

Then a few days later, Alison wrote:

So if Alison Lee says to please do it, you do it!
Because Alison Lee is awesome.
And so pretty.
I am not a stalker.
She is glad she lives in Malaysia. 
Far, far from me.

I could have gone the “real life statuses that don’t make it Facebook route” but I went another way.
The “OMG the things that would mortify us if people knew” route.
The “things that are so hilariously wrong that they are so right” route.
Welcome to my brain, open 24 hours a day and on holidays as well.

 

 

 

Facebook status

 

Facebook status
Facebook status

 

FB Dream Status

 

FB Dream status

 

Facebook dream status

 

Facebook dream status
FB Dream status

 

FB Status How many calories in a filet o fish?
Facebook Status AGFL

 

FB Status A G F L
Facebook status AGFL

 

 

Facebook status Shaved behind knee

 

Facebook dream status Cliff

 

Facebook petsmart clearance

 

Facebook Does Hobby Lobby Sell Cigarettes

 

Facebook I Think I Just Sharted

 

A Grace Full Life Facebook Anchorman quotes

Have a great weekend!

19 thoughts on “What I Wish People Would Write on Facebook

  1. Kari

    This is why I don't allow myself to use Facebook very often. I have a hard time distinguishing between what is socially acceptable to post vs. what I think would be funny to post. Pretty sure I'd give each of these a big thumbs up.

  2. Kari

    Sixty percent of the time it works every time.

    But honestly, TRUE STORY, every time something smells really bad, I say it smells like Sex Panther, hoping that *someone* will get the reference that what I REALLY mean is that it smells like Bigfoot's dick.

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