10 Items to Buy on Amazon to Make Winter Less Winter

 

 

Winter sucks. Unless you live in California, a majority of the southern states, Arizona, Texas or if you are reading internationally, everywhere except for Russia, Czechoslovakia, China and possibly parts of Turkey.

It really sucks this winter because I feel like the end of the world is near and of course, it falls during winter.

CAN YOU AT LEAST LET US GET A SPRING IN FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY?

Life is uncertain, order shit from Amazon that is whimsical. Get a prime membership so you can have your whimsical shit in less than two days!

 

Mr. Bacon's Bacon Flavored Toothpaste

1- Bacon flavored toothpaste 

I mean, come on! This is fun! On the plus side, if you are on a diet you can have bacon breath without all those nasty bacon calories.

2- Magical Defrosting Tray 

Okay, I just want this. It says it defrosts your meat in less than 30 minutes.

I said defrost your meat. 

3- Cards Against Humanity 

I feel like the times we are living in are a real life game of Cards Against Humanity.

 

4- 2017 Bubble Wrap Calendar 

I know what my mom is ordering. Plus, how gratifying to pop one more day off the calendar.

Glow in the Dark Toilet Paper

5- Glow in the Dark Toilet Paper 

In case you get lost in the bathroom.

6- A Yodeling Pickle

WHY THE HELL NOT??

7-Fish Hotel 

Lucy needs this. If you don’t have a fish, you need to buy one. And really, why don’t you have a fish?

8- Pac-Man Ice Cube Tray 

If I buy this, I can pretend that Reagan is president and that I can go upstairs and dance to Kajagoogoo for hours in my bedroom.

9- Warming Butter Knife 

I am buying this because warm butter on homemade bread is what is gonna save me this winter.

10- Magnetic Bumper Sticker 

Because you know you have to.

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8 thoughts on “10 Items to Buy on Amazon to Make Winter Less Winter

  1. Katrin

    You had me laughing on the floor with this hysterical list of fun stuff from amazon! A yodeling pickle? haha agreed! why the hell not! And that glow in the dark toilet paper of course! No one wants to get lost in the bathroom at night…. bahahaha they’re all so great, Thank you for a good laugh this morning! Have a nice Sunday…with bacon for breakfast?? or on the toothbrush???

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