GUYS. Two things happened last week.
My husband commented not once but THREE TIMES on the blog.
For the first time in my almost eight-years writing a blog.
Monumental was one of the words I threw out whilst seeing the pending comments in the hopper.
THEN, just as I was getting over the shock of that event, a person named Judd commented on the last screenplay post.
I think it’s him.
And if it isn’t, I am adopting him as my blog mascot.
Do blog’s have mascots?
THEY DO NOW.
To read last week’s scene, head here.
To catch you up in case you’re new or just forgot completely what the actual point of this whole thing is:
Premise: three middle-aged best friends from high school kidnap the “Brat Pack” in an effort to open a museum dedicated to John Hughes and travel with them from Los Angeles to Chicago in a mini van.
Katherine- “Kate” has a vision: she wants to create a museum in Chicago dedicated to John Hughes. But her friends and family think she is bat shit crazy. She knows nothing about starting a museum and feels like Judd Nelson is just the person to help her with that. He just doesn’t know it yet.
Valerie- “Val” wonders why there were hardly any black people in John Hughes movies and for this reason is boycotting the museum idea. Until she meets the guy who played Carl the janitor. Then she’s all in.
Regina- Regina loves John Hughes and his movies, so she goes along Kate’s road trip idea because it’s a great
idea way to get away from her children for a week. Regina is also related to a beloved character from Sixteen Candles. She just doesn’t know it yet.
Scene Seven- “She Doesn’t Have A Lot to Live for. You’ll See When You Get to Chicago”
They all arrive at the spa where the elusive Molly Ringwald works and where Judd gets his rash treatments. Anthony Michael Hall (“Michael” to his friends) had called the spa ahead of time and told Molly that Judd’s rash has flared up again and could she meet them in the parking lot to do “damage control”.
As they pull into the parking lot, Molly is waiting by the back door, looking pretty upset. Valerie opens the automatic van door to reveal Judd Nelson tied to the seat with several tampons.
Judd (to Molly)- I don’t have a rash.
Valerie (to Molly)- He will when I get done with him.
Molly- What the hell is going on?
Michael- We’re going on a road trip! Get on in!
Molly- You’re joking.
Judd- We’re being kidnapped by these three lunatics to help open the worst museum known to man.
Valerie smacks Judd on the back of the head
Katherine- It really isn’t as bad as Judd makes it sound.
Molly- I’m sure.
Katherine- We aren’t lunatics.
Molly- Whatever. Just don’t kill me.
Katherine- We don’t have any weapons, I swear.
Judd- That’s not true, she has a curling iron and tampons.
Molly- Curling iron? Tampons? What kind of kinky shit are they doing in that van Judd? BLINK TWICE IF YOU ARE UNDER DURESS.
Valerie- If you blink twice, I will put that maxi pad back on your eyes fool.
Molly- I’m calling the cops.
Regina- NO! Please! Wait! We have a perfectly sane reason why we are here!
Katherine- Here’s the deal Molly Ringwald, we are huge fans of yours.
Molly- Who isn’t?
Katherine- Well, we were thinking you would want to be a part of the John Hughes museum we are trying to open in…..
Molly- You are not for real.
Katherine- Oh I’m the real deal, alright!
Molly- You seriously need to get a life.
Regina- That wasn’t very nice.
Molly- And kidnapping Judd and Michael for your sick plan is? You know I can have you arrested?
Katherine- I don’t see them resisting.
Judd- I am literally tied to my seat with menstruation products.
Valerie- Listen Claire! That chick up there is my best friend and she may have THE stupidest idea I’ve ever heard, but I’m goin’ along with it because that’s what friends do!
Valerie- NOW, if she wanted to eat your skin, I’d be all HELL NO. But all she wants to do is get y’all on board to help with some stupid museum for a dead guy that none of you seems to like. How hard is it to get off of your pedestal and help us “little people” out?
Molly- I am not getting into a van with strangers. I have children at home. And integrity.
Judd- Hey! I have integrity too.
Molly- Are those heavy or medium flow pads on your eyes, Judd?
Michael- I KNOW! I KNOW!
Everyone except Judd looks deflated.
Molly- Look, you girls seem kind of somewhat nice-ish but I am just not the person you think you know any more. Can I just mail a check?
Valerie- Sure! Make that check out to Valerie Thomas…THO…..
Regina- Listen big shot, this isn’t even about you. In fact, we could care less if you are even in this van. It’s about John Hughes, so get over your big ego.
Valerie- YEAH! And Kate doesn’t have yours or Judd’s hair or anything……
Judd- I knew it.
Valerie- ….so you can stop worrying if she is a stalker. John Hughes should be the one worrying if she’s a stalker or if she has her bedroom wallpapered with his face. DAMMIT that came out wrong!
Regina- What she meant to say was that John Hughes is dead so he can’t worry about it because, well, dead.
Katherine- For the record, I don’t have anybody’s hair in my nightstand nor do I have any of you wallpapered anywhere in my home.
Michael- Man Kate, you have really great friends,
Katherine- Yeah. I do.
Michael- I don’t have any friends.
Judd- You mentioned that.
Molly- Yeah, still nope.
Katherine- I ONLY HAVE SIX MONTHS TO LIVE!
Molly- Oh dear.
Katherine- Yes! Give a dying woman her last wish!
Judd- This? This is your last wish?
Valerie (to Judd)- She doesn’t have a lot to live for. You’ll see when you get to Chicago.
Regina- Come on Molly! Get the stick out of your butt and come on the road trip of a lifetime with us!
Katherine- I’ll share my Pop Rocks with you!
Regina- I’ll let you borrow my jelly shoes!
Valerie- I’ll let you tighten Judd’s tampons when he gets unruly!
Katherine- We can listen to that Alternative crap that I am sure you love!
Valerie- And again, we are not planning anything sinister like taking y’all out to the desert to make one big coat out of your skins.
Valerie- I know they were probably thinkin’ that.
Judd- Well, I am now.
Michael- Ooh Pop Rocks! I wasn’t allowed to eat those because I missed my childhood,
Molly- Pop Rocks and jelly shoes DO sound fun.
Judd- Pop Rocks? That’s what’s motivating your decision to leave your kids?
Molly- Let’s say I decide to get in the van. Will you vow to never speak to me again once this trip is over?
Katherine- Not even on Twitter.
Valerie (to Judd)- See even Samantha Baker has a Twitter. What are you so afraid of?
Molly- I’m in.
Judd- I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE HOW RIDICULOUS THIS IS??
Valerie- Are you gonna shit twice and die?
Valerie- It was a Sixteen Candles line.
Michael- I thought your timing was wonderful, Val.
Valerie- You were always my favorite. After the Asian guy.
Michael- I get that a lot.
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