I got the flu almost two weeks ago and am still fighting the good fight.
The good news- my lungs are clear.
The bad news- I could feel like this for another two weeks.
So normally I like to space out my posts and since I posted yesterday, I didn’t think I would post this today.
But it was already written and I really miss my screenplay and feel like talking about it with all of you will heal me faster.
ONLY 19 MORE SCENES TO GO.
Looking for the scenes you may have missed? They’re all here in one handy place.
Scene Ten- “They Can’t Kill All of Us. Some of Us Maybe”
After eating their quiches at Gedde’s “quiche experience” restaurant in Salt Lake City, the gang piles into the van with Gedde in tow.
Gedde (to the group) – So how big is this museum going to be?
Katherine (to Gedde) – Funny you should ask Gedde because we don’t actually know the answer to that as of yet.
Molly (to Katherine) – Well how large is the space you have?
Regina (to Molly) – Space?
Molly (to Regina) – Space, location, building. How big is it?
Valerie (to Molly) – Silly rich people talking about buildings like we just bought one before coming out here.
Judd (to Katherine) – You mean to tell me you haven’t done any research whatsoever for your precious museum?
Katherine (to Judd) – Well kind of.
Valerie (to Judd) – Yeah, we established the difference between a Go Fund Me and a Kickstarter.
Regina (to Judd) – And that was about it.
Valerie (to Judd) – In our defense, Regina and I only found out about this plan on the plane ride here.
Molly (to Katherine) – So if there is no building and no research is done, why are we going to Chicago?
Katherine (to Molly) – I can’t emphasize enough the fact that I had no clue you all would even be in the vehicle at this point.
Valerie (to Molly) – Right! I thought we’d be in jail by now so we are WAY ahead of the game!
Emilio (to Molly) – Don’t be so negative Molly. We have a good two days in the car to discuss plans. Right?
Michael (to Molly) – Right! This is so much fun to be with all of you again. I honestly don’t even care if there IS a museum when we get there.
Valerie (to Michael) – You really are my favorite.
Michael (to Katherine) – OOH! Can I decide what roles everyone has!
Katherine (to Michael) – Roles?
Michael (to Katherine) – Yes, see I totally envision Judd running the gift shop.
Judd (to Michael) – That’s a negative.
Molly (to Michael) – I actually could see that too. (Pretending to be Judd) YOU’RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT TEE SHIRT YOU LITTLE TURD!
Emilio (to Molly) – That could be fun to watch.
Gedde (to the group) – Uhh guys?
Regina (to Gedde) – Yes?
Gedde (to the group) – I don’t mean to worry you but I think someone is following us.
Valerie (to the group) – WHICH ONE OF YOU MOFO’S CALLED THE COPS ON US?
Gedde (to Valerie) – I don’t think it’s the police but they have been following me closely for the past 30 miles or so.
Judd (to Gedde) – That’s not suspicious.
Gedde (to Judd) – Well there’s that and the furious waving too.
Everyone says in unison- THE WHAT?
Gedde (to the group) – At first I didn’t say anything because honestly, it was the first time since Utah that we all were getting along…..
Michael (to the group) – What if it’s terrorists??
Valerie (to the group) – Or worse! One of Judd’s critics!
Judd (to Valerie) – Very funny.
Emilio (to Gedde) – When you say furious waving…..
Gedde (to Emilio) – Someone wants to get our attention. Like, waving out the side window.
Katherine (to the group) – Creepy.
Gedde (to the group) – I thought I should say something. Especially in light of the fact that I have to urinate like a racehorse.
Valerie (to Gedde) – You can say piss, Gedde. You’re among friends now.
Katherine (to the group) – Okay, here’s the plan: pull off at that rest stop ahead and see if they follow us in. Then we will know for SURE that they are following us.
Molly (to Katherine) – That’s your plan?
Katherine (to Molly) – I didn’t say it was a well-formulated plan.
Judd (to Katherine) – Then what, Kate? Wait for them to kill us all?
Michael (to Judd) – They can’t kill all of us. Some of us maybe.
Emilio (to the group) – Have we even considered that it might just be fans who recognize us?
Valerie (to Emilio) – I don’t know Emilio, you all have fallen to pieces. No offense.
Regina (to the group) – Emilio has a point. It’s probably some crazy fan.
Judd (to the group) – Like three chicks from Illinois who want to kidnap us?
Valerie (to the group) – Well if it’s fans then Judd has nothing to worry about.
They pull into the rest area and park the van. Gedde runs into the building to go to the bathroom. The rest lock the doors immediately and duck down to hide from the car that follows them into the parking lot.
Katherine (whispering to the group) – No one make a sound! Maybe they will…..
Just then, there is a loud knock on the driver’s side window of the van.
Voice- HELLO? ANYONE IN THERE?
Valerie (to the group) – I think I just crapped my pants.
VOICE- I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE. GEDDE RAN IN AND NO ONE WENT WITH HIM. COME ON GUYS.
Katherine peeks up into the window and sees John Kapelos (Carl the janitor) in his In and Out uniform looking into the van window.
Katherine (to John) – Carl??
Katherine unlocks the van doors.
John (to Katherine) – It’s John but cute that you think Carl is my name.
John peeks into the van
John (to the group) – Holy shit! It’s like John Hughes reject reunion in here!
Regina (to John) – What are you doing here?
Molly (to John) – At a rest stop.
Michael (to John) – In Colorado.
John (to the group)- Well, I thought about what you said in the drive-thru after you left and I said to myself, “self! This sounds like a great opp!”
Emilio (to John) – Opp?
John (to Emilio) – An opportunity! Adventure! The John Hughes museum awaits, my friend!
Molly (to John) – How deep.
John (to the group) – That and my bookie came into the fast-food establishment not long after you left looking for me.
Judd (to the group) – Golden. Just golden.
Katherine (to Judd) – What?
Judd (to Katherine) – He’s on the lam.
John (to Judd) – No I’m not! I just don’t have the funds right now, see?
Judd (to John) – Super.
John (to Judd) – Hey! I don’t have regular acting gigs coming in anymore. You know what I’m talking about, don’t ya Judd?
Judd (to John) – Why just me? Emilio and Michael aren’t working regularly anymore either.
Michael (to the group) – I just did a series of AT&T commercials, Judd.
Emilio (to the group) – I don’t need to because I still get Mighty Ducks commission checks.
Michael (to the group) – And Emilio has those billboards all over Century Boulevard too.
John (looking at Emilio) – You do?
Emilio (to John) – I don’t know what he’s talking about.
Michael (to Emilio) – Yes you do! The one about the medicine.
Molly (to Michael) – Oh yes! The erectile dysfunction ads! I do love those.
Michael (to Judd) – That’s right! So don’t tell us we don’t work anymore Judd.
Judd (to Michael, sarcastically) – Oh I won’t.
Judd looks at Emilio and pats him on the hand
Judd (to Emilio) – Sorry about your dick.
Molly (to John) – So do we need to turn you in or something?
John (to Molly) – NO! (He takes a second to recover) I mean, I think I should just lay low for a couple of days. Get away from the city. You know, a vacation.
Judd (to the group) – He’s on the lam.
Looking for scenes you missed? Head here for all of them in one place!
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