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Amazon Plants Just Made Me Wet Myself a Little

This post contains affiliate links. For more info, click on the disclosure tab at the top of this blog. 


I found out last week that Amazon now sells live plants and this made me get so excited that I may have wet my pants a little.*

*My pants, not my plants to be clear.

*That could also have to do with carrying two very big babies and nothing to do with live plants.

Mens Sometimes I Wet My Plants Funny Plant Shirt Large Navy


I need to get more live plants into my life, whether they are inside of my home or on the outside. Live plants inside of your home are so good for your living space and for you.


More plants, less crap is my motto in 2018.

Unless it’s manure for the outside plants.

Then more crap, same amount of plants in 2018.


I used my friend Melanie’s plant guide blog post to help me figure out what plants I need and with that in hand (well not literally in my hand because it’s a blog), I headed out to Amazon (well not really headed out because it’s a website) to find me some new plants!

Note- some live plants aren’t covered by Prime and take advantage of that by charging at times over $7 PLUS in shipping. At that point, you’re better off going to Home Depot or your local nursery. I only included Prime items in this post, however, because I adore you and hate spending money. 

Shop Succulents Rosette Succulent (Collection of 32)

Succulents for days!

I love succulents for a couple of reasons:

-you can’t kill a succulent (unless you’re me but you aren’t me, so you good)

-they are just happy to look at

-they’re green

-you get to say suck

And now on Amazon (with Prime), you can get a pack of 32 (YES THIRTY-TWO!) succulents for your abode in less than 48 hours!

It’s a great time to be alive.


Shop Succulents 4" Aloe Vera Plant (1)

Aloe Vera Plant

We had aloe vera plants in our home when I was growing up and they are great for many things but soothing cuts and burns is one and this stuff definitely works. There’s nothing quite like being healed by nature.

Also when we were kids, we used to cut the plants just to see the aloe ooze out.

Call the authorities.


Shop Succulents Geometric Teardrop Terrarium with Air Plants

Air plant in a terrarium 

I can’t stand how cute this is. My friend Rebecca said that these are very low maintenance.

Perfect for plant killers like myself.

Plus it just looks pretty.

Costa Farms Ficus Pandurata Fiddle-Leaf Fig in 8.75-Inch Grower Pot

Fiddle Leaf Fig

These are hugely popular with the fancy DIY bloggers who go to Pinterest conferences and used to wear chevron.
Not sure what they’re wearing now.
But I still want one of these plants because I wasn’t given one for free like they were and this is actually the most affordable one I’ve seen.

Costa Farms Cat Palm in 9.25-Inch Grower Pot

Cat Palm 

I have a very similar plant in my kitchen as I type this, who we love.

Yes, I refer to my plants as who because they are living and they make me happy.

Plus I am still trying to make good on the whole aloe joy killing thing when I was a kid.


Costa Farms Parlor Palm in 6-Inch Grower Pot

Parlor Palm 

I also love this palm as well.

They are particularly helpful during winter when there is no green to be found anywhere outside of my home.

It makes me feel like I am somewhere where my nipples don’t shrivel up when I take the garbage cans to the curb.

Get yourself a palm that makes your nipples feel all is right with the world.

Costa Farms Dieffenbachia Camille in 6-Inch Grower Pot

Dieffenbachia Camille 

I got one of these (but much smaller) at my local home improvement store after watching the documentary The Minimalists last year.

After that documentary, I needed ALL OF THE DAMN PLANTS.

That was last February and my girl is still going strong.



6 Inch Modern White Ceramic Round Succulent Cactus Planter Pot with Drainage Bamboo Tray,Decorative Garden Flower Holder Bowl

Succulent Planter Pot 

Because you now have a shit ton of succulents to plant!


H Potter Planters Succulent Flower Pots Indoor Outdoor Set of Two

Copper Succulent Planters 

Because copper is trendy, yo.

If you can’t get yourself a fiddle leaf thingy, then get yourself a copper succulent planter.

Even if you don’t have succulents.

Before I leave, I need someone to help me find spider plants. I looked at my local Wal-Mart and Home Depot, nothing.

Yes, I am aware that two stores does not mean they don’t exist anywhere.
But I am lazy and my follow-through skills are lacking.

So do you know anywhere that I could find them?

Let me know in the comments!



This post contains Amazon Affiliate links. Go forth and buy your plants. Your nipples will thank you. 

I love to write about my family, John Hughes, tacos and Bruce Hornsby. Not necessarily in that order.


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