Humor

The Week I Wanted to Stop Blogging

As I write this, I am on day three point five of struggling with issues concerning my hosting.

Let me back up.

Back in June, I got an email from my virtual blog hound dog, Jetpack, that DANGER DANGER YOUR BLOG IS DOWN!

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I was like, OH MY GOD WHAT DID I PRESS?? Because let’s face it, I have enough business blogging as Gwyneth Paltrow does.

It turns out that Bluehost (my then current hosting site) was struggling with some issues and that in turn, affected my blog.

At this point, you are probably wondering what the hell a Bluehost is, or what hosting means.

I AM TOTALLY WITH YOU.

It was after three days of my blog being down, getting no specific answers from Bluehost, and being completely frustrated that I wanted to move to a different house.

Did I also mention this happened the week Anna and I were to leave for California? Did I also mention I have anxiety?

I am just trying to paint the picture.

So as a blogger, social media manager, blah blah blah, I did what I do best when it comes to shitty service, I blast them on Twitter. (Tweet may not show up if you are reading this on a mobile device, which we aren’t doing any more. ARE WE?)

Don’t think the grammar police in me hates that I used IS instead of ARE but you can’t edit a tweet so here we are. #firstworldgrammarproblems

Normally when I tweet on Twitter, I don’t get too much of a response but this time, I had LOTS of people who had LOTS to say about Bluehost.

None of it good, by the way.

It was during these exchanges that I got ramped up enough to say bye bye to Bluehost and begin the process of hosting with another company.

According to several of my new friends on Twitter, I needed to get with Site Ground stat.

Now, I know a LOT of bloggers who get paid to say that because Site Ground has a blogging affiliate program like none other but I had a tech guy tell me Site Ground and he wasn’t getting paid to do so nor did he give me a link to click, so I trusted that and went with the majority.

I sheeped it.

BAAA.

After getting virtually patted on my back for this decision via Twitter, I decided that I must have made the appropriate choice.

Phew. Worry over. That was scary.

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I head over to Site Ground, clicked on Migrate Blog, and was immediately in touch (because they want my money) with a guru over at my new house aka hosting company.

I was told by the guru that they would walk me through step by step. But first, can you pay the 70 dollars for a year of hosting (which is good compared to Bluehost’s 150) and migration.

Insert elevator music.

WELCOME TO SITE GROUND!

But because Bluehost was down YET AGAIN, I couldn’t have my new Site Ground guru friend walk me through the process step by step, as promised.

Rather I was told to come back and find another guru to help me when indeed Bluehost gets its shit together.

He didn’t actually say that but I could tell he wanted to.

Disclaimer- I should state that everyone at Site Ground has been uber helpful, absolutely lovely, and not at all condescending to the blogger who knows nothing about blogging. Also, I should state that I have no business handling the ins and outs that go along with owning your own blog and making decisions therein. 

So after Bluehost got its shit together for a whopping half hour, I snuck into my account in that time period and got the info that Site Ground needed.

I make this sound all mission impossible but I swear it’s not. I mean at the end of the day, I just want to write about tacos, menopause and Uncle Buck.

So then I get another guru at Site Ground who has more faith in me than my original guru. He says he will handle the migration but afterward, I was on my own to tie up loose ends because he knows I can do it.

Or it’s a Saturday and he just wants to go the hell home. 

It was at this point that I wanted to go back to Blogger. Blogger doesn’t make me tie up loose ends, Blogger doesn’t judge me if I don’t know what hosting and domain mean.

Sweet little Blogger where I didn’t own my words but who the hell cares? Steal my content, delete it forever, I just don’t want to see words like point your servers to the new host.

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So I tried to tie up my loose ends as best I could WHILE booking tickets for celebrity tours in Hollywood because that was much more fun.

My blog was still running, no emails from my bulldog Jetpack, the interwebs didn’t implode, I guess I did the right thing!

I went to California, had an amazing time, came home and blogged about it, wrote another post about blogging, and was all THAT WAS EASY! I DO know how to run a blog!

Until I get an email last Sunday from my bulldog Jetpack saying, “umm your blog? It’s a shit show. Again.”

Why?

Because Bluehost is down. Again.

Umm Bluehost isn’t my problem anymore because my servers are pointed, thank you very much.

This happened at nine o clock on a Sunday night, mere hours before my newest post was to publish which is a big deal.

Act like this is a big deal.

I ran downstairs to my laptop, swearing under my breath, okay OVER my breath, to find out what the hell I did wrong because it’s me.

You know it and I know it.

I contact my support team over at Site Ground and they tell me the good news that we all were waiting for:

 

I was still using Bluehost because I hadn’t pointed my servers to Site Ground.

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I had a wonderful guru explain step by step how to do this which is WHAT I NEEDED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I did what he asked while he was still on chat with me, and afterward, he said it could take up to 24 hours to propagate but usually never that long.

I went to bed feeling relief that my blog was propagating, whatever the hell that meant, and slept like a baby with a full belly.

Monday morning, I woke up to a blog that didn’t kind of exist, and several emails from all of you lovely people looking out for me concerned that something had happened.

DON’T WORRY! IT’S PROPAGATING!

I checked my blog at the 12-hour mark and it was indeed up but not really running. More like jog-walking.

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Did I mention this was also the day that Amazon Prime wasn’t working? On Amazon Prime Day?

Did I also mention this was the day our President met with Putin?

Did I furthermore mention that all of my “gurus” names were Vladimir and Dimitri and Yuri?

I am open minded, free thinking, completely liberal, and smart when it comes to ways of the world (except as it pertains to HTML), but I started getting in conspiracy theory mode.

THOSE MUTHER EFFERS ARE PURPOSELY MESSING WITH MY BLOG!

Because you know my blog holds all sorts of political secrets.

THEN on day three after finding out over 40 weblinks weren’t working, that I had 800 broken image links, and still no clear solution this happened:

 

Site Ground’s website went down.

You KNOW I started to think that I might have broken it.

Or that they are freezing me out because of 25 support threads over three days.

So I just kind of gave up. Still waiting on Site Ground to tell me everything is fine on their end but it really just isn’t on mine.

If you are a tech guru, I’d love some advice or a course or just come over and make me brownies while stroking my hair.

Yes, that’d be better.

Update- As of now, it seems that everything is in order. I almost don’t feel comfortable saying that, so pray a rosary, light a candle, talk to your clergy member. 

Also a big thank you to Site Ground for being patient with me and my little blog. You all deserve a raise. Or I can make you brownies and brush your hair. I made it awkward, didn’t I? 

 

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I love to write about my family, John Hughes, tacos and Bruce Hornsby. Not necessarily in that order.

20 Comments

  • Mrs K @ Mrs Kringle's Kitchen

    There is truly nothing more frustrating than hosting a blog and all of the BS that goes along with it. (Oh wait, YT is right there with it, no worse…be glad you don’t have to deal with it too) I’m glad it all got worked out and I will light candles, sage your page, chant in Latin (once I learn it) and align my chakras in hopes all goes well from this point forward!
    Mrs K @ Mrs Kringle’s Kitchen recently posted…My Top Five Everyday Kitchen GadgetsMy Profile

  • Rita

    Ah, Kari. You can make even this funny. Laughing with you, not at you. Right? I hope it all gets worked out. I don’t blame you for getting stressed out. That Monday was a mental health killer even without a downed blog.

  • Florence

    Everybody in the world that reads your blog may not understand this, but I sure do! I remember the frustration over those very things! I never did understand the process & had to get someone else to do it for me. All this tech stuff drives me crazzzy too. I laughed all the way through this…all those giphys were perfect.

  • Melanie

    All I can say is, I am so glad I’m a little blogger that makes no money and still uses Blogger, lol. I’m glad all is now well for you and your marvelous blog…and only YOU could make this malarky (don’t you just love that word?) humorous. xoxo

  • Jessie

    I hate that you had to go through this. Pam and I lost all of our images when we left bluehost and since her posts were mostly DIY’s and she didn’t have her images backed…well, it was time to call it quits ☹️. I think google is awesomely simple. I wonder if WordPress and other hosting sites made up the scare about google shutting people down? Crockpot lady got rich off their site, hmmmm. Conspiracy theory. Loved Whoopie photo. I just had my kids watch Ghost for the first time. She’s too funny. FYI: I just made a twitter account I’ll likely never use because of this post. You’re such an influencer.
    Jessie recently posted…Quick FYI PostMy Profile

  • Andy

    I know and I really understand how you feel Kari 🙂 I’ve been through a lot of struggle when I started my blog and I’m in the verge of giving it up also. However, I analyze it to myself, “what my priority of setting up the blog?” Until I find an answer, my willingness to keep pushing me through. 🙂 And glad I haven’t given up.

  • Ani Kay

    I so feel you! I had Host Monster, Blue Host, and Site Ground, before settling on 1&1. I hated them all, also a few of them are the same company with different names. I got most of them by doing a Google search and having someone, who in retrospect had an obvious affiliation, tell me how wonderful each one was.

    Also apparently when you are a big enough blog you can get your own server, so it doesn’t go down ever?! But I don’t know how that works, cause I’m as hosting/domain literate as you are. JUST GET MY SITE UP AND RUNNING, is the extent of the direction I give. And I don’t have enough followers to be considered big, or small.

    I am glad you are back up, though. I was worried about you!
    Ani Kay recently posted…When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Gilmore – My Gilmore Girls ObsessionMy Profile

  • Terra Heck

    Eek! Sounds like it was quite the debacle. Glad your site is back to working again.
    I’ve never heard of Site Ground. I’m with 1& 1 and have been very pleased with them the last two years. Before that I had GoDaddy. NEVER again!! I had issues with them that made me want to cry. (and I did…several times)
    Terra Heck recently posted…The Backstreet Meat BoysMy Profile

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