Blogging,  Humor

Creating a Blog Bio is Stupid

Stupid meaning I hate it, not stupid meaning why create one. 

I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to revamp my Who I Am page on this blog a few months ago.

Time that I don’t really have trying to impress people who are new to my blog that I don’t even know.

The first place I go to on a new-to-me blog is their Who I Am, About Me, Meet Trixie! page.

Because I want to know exactly who I am reading, their story, why they are writing, what their deal is.

By the way, if you are newer to blogging, do NOT go on Pinterest to get examples of blog bios.

Don’t do ittttt.

Because then you will be inundated with blogs who have cool ass bio pages with a blogging resume that will make you feel like you aren’t living your best bloggy life.

Do you know that there are bloggers who have been on the Today Show? Or written for the New York Times? Or have been on the free blogger Disney Cruise, like, 20 times?

At that point, you need to stop calling yourself a blogger because you are totally ruining it for the underachieving bloggers like myself.

We have a reputation to hold onto.

YOU ARE CRUSHING MY DREAMS WITH ALL OF YOUR FANCY CREDENTIALS.

But I forged on because I also have credentials.

Like writing a post about Johnsonville Sausages.

Sausages that I ate even after they rolled under the dishwasher.

And then told my entire viewing audience about it in detail within the sponsored post that I was paid to write.

Or writing for Chicago Parent some four years ago twice per month and putting my heart and soul into every single post.

They have since removed my posts from the site because four years ago is like, EONS in the writing world apparently.

So now there is no proof that I ever wrote there.

Which means I can’t use them in my credentials anymore unless I give a disclaimer like, I WROTE THERE, I SWEAR. PINKY PROMISE. ASK AROUND, THEY’LL TELL YOU!

Image result for 404 error page

OH, and the one time I got an article on the Scary Mommy website, also four years ago, but no one cares about that because getting your work on other peoples websites is so 2014.

Then it got me to thinking:  four years ago I was living my best life as it pertains to blogging.

So how do I create a space to tell all of the peoples who are new to my blog why they should be reading it when my best blog life was lived four years ago?

Here are a couple ideas I toyed with:

 

 

 

Half-assing blogging is a real thing.

Trust me.

I know.

I might trademark the word half-assery.

OMG, THAT WOULD MAKE AN AMAZING BLOG NAME.

 

 

 

I feel like I left something out.

I also really like chicken salad.

Too much?

Girly hormonal shit was my second choice for a blog name.

I might still use it someday, so don’t take it.

You know what? I don’t want to make a bio anymore. I’m bored.

Let’s go eat some chicken salad.

Head here to see what my awful About Me page looks like now.

If you are an About Me Engineer (I just made that up), help me.

I love to write about my family, John Hughes, tacos and Bruce Hornsby. Not necessarily in that order.

31 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

+1
Pin2
Tweet
Share
Share7
9 Shares